1. Your haircut takes 20-30 minutes, your dog’s takes much longer

2. Your hairdresser doesn’t give you a manicure & pedicure

3. Your hairdresser only clips the hair on your head

4. You don’t have any fleas, ticks or mites

5. Your hairdresser is not expected to comb out dreadlocks

6. Your hairdresser doesn’t clean your ears

7. You don’t try to bite your hairdresser

8. You stay still and don’t wiggle, jump and shake while being worked on with sharp scissors and tools

9. Your hairdresser doesn’t wash your butt

10. You don’t come in with mud, burrs, sticks, tar, sap, dead things, and poop in your hair

11. You don’t shake and cover everything (including your hairdresser) in 2 inches of soapy water

12. Your hairdresser doesn’t have to shave between your toes

13. You can tell your hairdresser if something’s wrong, she doesn’t have to guess

14. You don’t poop whilst your hairdresser is blow drying your backside

15. Your hairdresser doesn’t cuddle you and stroke you when you get nervous

16. You don’t walk into your hairdresser with hair that hasn’t been brushed in 6 weeks (or 6 months)

17. You don’t scream at the top of your lungs every time the Hairdresser picks up a pair of nail clippers

18. You don’t whip around in a frenzy as soon as your hairdresser goes to clip around your ears

19. You don’t try to hump your hairdresser’s leg

20. Your hairdresser probably won’t love you if you do any of the above. (in fact they would probably have you arrested)